She was a statistic……and her name was Grace.*
Grace is a neatly dressed and well spoken woman. She married the love of her life and thought she would have it all: a home, a loving husband, a career and a family. Instead the love of her life hit, punched, beat and terrorized her and almost killed her on more than one occasion. Grace is one of the 2,954 domestic violence related calls worked by law enforcement in Northeast Louisiana in 2005.
Domestic violence is defined as physical, emotional, or sexual harm to an individual by their intimate partner (a current or former spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.) Domestic violence bulldozes through the barriers of race, culture, gender, and socioeconomic levels. Although reports of domestic violence usually list the perpetrator as a male, men can also be the target of domestic abuse.
The story of Grace is a composite of true cases of domestic violence here in Northeast Louisiana. Everything described in this story happened to someone here in our communities. What matters most is that Grace could be any of us. The Violence Policy Center rates Louisiana third in the nation for murders of females by male perpetrators. And almost 30% of the population knows someone like Grace. She is a member of their family, works with them, worships with them, or is a friend.
When Grace thought about her childhood she remembered her parent’s own physical and verbal battles and the chaos that was a part of everyday life. She was determined that when she had children they would be shielded from this type of life.
For many years she endured the hitting and punching, the screaming and lashing out that seemed to happen for no reason. She had no where else to go, no money to get there, and was even more afraid of what her husband told her he would do if she tried to leave: kill her and her children.
Finally, fearing for her life and the lives of her two daughters, she fled with no money and only the clothes she and her children had on their backs. She lost her home, her possessions, and her keepsakes that she had worked full time for while her husband drank and spent his income on himself. She was scared, broke and alone.
Grace found support and safety through The Wellspring. She and her children entered the safe residential shelter and began to receive help and services. In 2006, the Wellspring’s residential facility sheltered 250 women and 239 children. And that is just the women who accessed services from the Wellspring. The Family Justice Center, located at 620 Riverside in Monroe, handled 3,675 calls regarding domestic violence in the 9 month period from January to September, 2007. Grace is one of many.
Grace’s courage and determination helped her write a new, happy ending to her story. She did eventually have the beautiful, happy home she had dreamed of—one she bought and remodeled herself. She also returned to school and is working toward a degree. Her daughters are grown and in happy marriages, busy with their own lives and children. Grace is a thriving professional busy with her own fulfilled life and a promising, happy future.
Not all stories end this happily. Many abusive relationships end in deaths of some or all of those involved, including children, other family members, and even unrelated bystanders not directly involved in the relationship. These are stories you read about in the newspaper in our own parishes. It’s not too late to give some of the other stories a more hopeful ending. Here’s what you can do.
• Call the police if you see or hear violence in progress.
• Learn about domestic violence services in your community like those provided by The Wellspring.
• Give time, resources or money. Distribute domestic violence awareness materials at your workplace, school, or church. Arrange for informational and educational presentations or training for your church, civic, social and professional groups.
• If you have a friend or co-worker who is afraid of his or her partner or who is being hurt, offer your support and refer them to The Wellspring.
• Model a respectful attitude toward your spouse in your home, with your family, and in your workplace. Avoid behaviors that demean or control others.
• Build support among your colleagues and neighbors that abusive behavior and language is not tolerated in your neighborhood.
To request information and assistance, contact The Wellspring at (318) 323-1505 or 1-800-716-7233.
And don’t wait. It could cost a life.
* The story of Grace is a composite of true cases of domestic violence here in Northeast Louisiana. Everything described in this story happened to someone here in our communities.